Some Inconvenient Truths

Here is the truth.

A.) I am down a total of 16 lbs.
B.) As of May 27 I was down a total of 17.2 lbs.
C.) Some simple algebra would tell us that if A + B does not = C or something like that, I wasn't a math major after all, some things went askew.

Perhaps now would be a good time to tell you what I am actually doing to try and achieve my goals. Well, simply, I am eating less and moving more. I am keeping a food journal, as I described, through an app on my iPad and iPhone - the Calorie Tracker on livestrong.com (a pretty gnarly site, by the way, thanks to Lance and his increased oxygen-carrying-capacity awesomeness). My goal calorie intake is 1260. I came to this number by filling out a questionare on the site about lifestyle, current weight and height and goal weight loss per week.

Another truth...

I don't really know with a hundred percent certainty if this calorie goal is really what I need to attain my goal, destination skinny jeans.

I am trying to eat very healthy - my "secret weapon" is shoveling some kind of raw green vegetable in my mouth whenever I am hungry and my mind starts wandering into some king of fantasy stupor where I, instead, shovel Nutella in my mouth by the spoonful. I am eating mostly at home, measuring out my portions, eating small frequent meals, keeping healthy snacks in my purse when I go out of the house to run errands and drinking lots of water. I am desperately trying to keep that yucky feeling of deprivation at bay by allowing myself a "treat" most days like a Skinny Cow ice cream treat or a 100 calorie milk chocolate bar from Trader Joes. I also do a "free meal" once a week. I usually try to save this for date night out at a restaurant (where it can be nearly impossible to correctly estimate calories anyway). For so many weeks The Plan was working beautifully, I was averaging at least 2 lbs of weight loss a week.

So what the hay happened?

I got sloppy. I didn't track my food - part circumstantial, part laziness. I didn't exercise enough. I made too many excuses for poor choices.

The truth...

I felt frustrated and disappointed in myself. Because, I'm not sloppy and I'm not lazy - why was I allowing myself to treat my body this way? UGH, UGH, double UGH!!!

The truth...

This is really hard. And I'm mostly doing a great job. I've had some people (randoms that aren't blog followers) ask me if I have lost weight. So, some loss must be evident, but so far I can't tell. I don't see anything different in the mirror, I'm still wearing the same size I was 16 lbs ago. I think that some physical evidence of all of this work would help me a little bit in the motivation department.

Last truth for today...

My slip-ups were all last week and I should have blogged about them then. I probably needed help, but I suppose I didn't want to own up to it all. I recovered this week and am back on track, doing my thing. I hope I don't have to wait too much longer before I can reward myself by pulling out those perfectly pressed pair of jeans I haven't worn in two years.