Thursday, May 5, 2011

The Un-Wed War

For about the last one and a half years I've been un-married. Meaning, I haven't been wearing my wedding or engagement rings. Being un-married isn't what it is cracked up to be, you'd think people would look at me with some pity, "oh, that poor single mom struggling with two toddlers, perhaps I'll chase down that cart full of Trader Joe's groceries speeding away from the trunk of her car." There has been none of that. And I'm certainly not getting hit on more by random guys, unless you count the homeless dude at the Westwood Parks and Rec Center yelling profanity as I walked by, and I don't. I miss wearing my rings. I miss having that cute little tan line on the ring finger of my left hand which proclaims "I'm taken." I love being married to my husband. I love it. So, one may ask, why then are you un-married? My rings do not fit. Not even a little bit. I shoved my ring on (with the help of windex and some glycerin soap) for some family portraits we had taken back in November. Poor choice. I nearly had to have someone saw off my finger to return the blood flow. And you can't even see my ring in any of the pictures! What a waste. Comfortably donning my rings again, without having to get them re-sized is a goal of mine. There have been countless numbers of times that I've nearly taken it to a jeweler so I could wear it now. I probably should have done so. But there always comes a knee jerk, "NO!!! You can do it. You can lose the finger fat. I believe. I believe. I believe." And as the "I believes" start to crescendo, I believe it too. I do realize that after having two babies a slight adjustment might need to be made (I hear my mommy friends comments already) and I'm completely willing to re-size my ring, if after having reached my goal weight loss it still fits uncomfortably. But, for now, the chanting I hear, the "I believe," chorus, it sounds a lot more like my voice.

I am very happy to share that since my last blog post I have lost 6.2 lbs. WOW!!! I'm not really even doing anything all that crazy. You have been the difference. Your offers to walk on the beach with me or run and hike with me or do yogahop with me, your conscious effort to use ground turkey in chili rather than ground beef when I come over, your calls and emails and hugs and excitement and follows have been the difference. I love that when I choose apples over bread rolls or green beans over cheese dip that I feel good. You are part of that choice. In my moments of real weakness, and even floating on this high of love and support and faith you have placed in me to reach these goals, I feel absolute moments of pure weakness, I gain power from you. Thank you for the magic of your love, it has pulled me up by my boot straps and I feel really, really good.

1 comment:

  1. So as I am sitting here wallowing in my sickness I am yet again amazed by your strength and well plain awesomeness! I know what a battle you have faced with your self proclaimed 'un-wedness' and I can't wait for the day you are openly a taken woman! =) Either way you are amazing and your fingers are beautiful hehe I love you so much!! Thank you for being you and kicking butt and taking names =)