Monday, August 13, 2012

Enough already!

Please tell me you love a good comeback story.

Time to face the music - the sad melodious tune of implosion - since the last time I actually posted a weight loss, sometime in March, I have gained back ten pounds and when I say ten pounds I mean 13.2. Putting me at exactly (as of this morning) at 173.2 pounds.

I feel a little bit like I'm unraveling here. It isn't just because of the weight because there have been some other sources of stress. Some real - like now my husband has a knee injury which is much worse than mine. And some unreal - like my L'Oreal Perfect Eyeliner in Carbon Black being out of stock at CVS. But when I'm taking good care of myself - eating well, exercising, I'm better equipped to deal with the stress. The issue of my weight is so incredibly emotionally charged for me. I'm finding that it is almost completely and utterly the source or void of my self-esteem.

This is both weird and dumb.  Be that as it may, it doesn't make it any less true.

I know people, of all shapes and sizes, that don't have this problem. I know people of all shapes and sizes that are happy despite their shape and size.

I know what I need.

1.) Faith.
2.) Help.
3.) Hope.

I'm very good at believing. Believing in God, believing in others but I'm not just very good at believing in myself. This is a whopping problemo, one I've decided needs a little professional guidance. I'm going to talk to someone this week. You see, I'm also very terrible at seeking out or asking for help. You might not know this because I've done it several times on this blog. It was one of my better ideas; I'm going to do it again.

Come hell or high water, I am going to figure this out. I'm going to not only lose the weight, but I am going to figure out WHY this is my issue. Time to dig a little deeper. I promise to keep you posted on my success and findings.

And if you have any faith or help or hope to offer - I will gladly take you up on some. And love, I could always use some love.


  1. You're awesome, Elley! Btw, I meditated on your list, and decided upon my own needs:
    1.) Faith.
    2.) Help.
    3.) Hope.
    4.) Muffins.

    Frankly, #2 and #4 here are kinda redundant. Let's be honest.

    See, this is what happens when I'm allowed to write comments at 1:38 a.m. Love you!

  2. Excellent post, and so true! Why do we let weight define us? Last time I was thinking this way and worried about "the number", I made a list of all the words that describe me.

    1. wife
    2. daughter
    3. lover
    4. blah, blah, you get the point

    Sometimes it helps to see yourself for what you really are, which is NOT a number.

  3. Sissy you really are amazing. Just putting it all out there, your courage is incredible. I'm so proud of you, you are an amazing person, sister, mother, wife, friend, in the words of Mrs. Clower...blah, blah, blah you get the point. Only not really blah, blah, blah, you really are incredible. I love you. I'll be here every step of the way to support you in your journey to being the best you that you can be. I love you!

  4. Danielle, I wish you could see yourself from anothers view. When I met you last Thursday I thought you were several things, some of which are...pretty, smiley, friendly and fun to talk to. Seriously, and that was just with the first hour. I DID NOT look at you as someone who needed to lose weight. You have so many great qualities, focus on those, find confidence in yourself, believe you can do whatever you want to and know that you're a smart, fun, beautiful person. I know it's hard, I deal with major insecurities too, I think it's just Satan getting in our heads and trying to bring us down. Don't let him do it!! xo, Jessica