Tuesday, September 20, 2011

How may calories are in humble pie?

If you asked me a year ago if I thought what I have done these last 6 months was possible, I would have said something really jaded like, "well, possible but not probable." I have lost 33.4 lbs. That is almost what my 3 year old daughter weighs. I have lost a toddler. Well, you know what I mean. 

So can anyone tell me then, why I am feeling so down trodden? I think I am having a mid-weight loss crisis. All I can think about is how far I left to go. All I can think about is even after having lost 33 lbs I am still overweight. In my head I've composed a little comic strip about this... I wish I could draw, it would make my image a lot easier to convey. But it goes something like this...

Picture a really sad, sweet-faced Danielle - like a female Charlie Brown, with more hair - standing at the top of a mountain. The side of the mountain at my back is steady, but slow steeping. It's covered in flowers and places to rest. The side of the mountain in front of me - the way down - is jagged, thick with brush and places to trip. The caption reads, "Damn, Miley Cyrus, why you gotta be right?"

This is an uphill battle.

I've been doing a very good job of feeling sorry for myself the last week or so. I'm tired. Work is exhausting. I need a vacation. I don't want to make dinner. The hallway smells. The girls have the pukes. I have laundry and dishes piled to the ceiling. Today about sent me over the edge. I got home and I was twitching like an addict - scouring my cabinets for chocolate, cooked pasta, cheese, any sort of full fat cheese, Doritos for heaven sake where is something calorie laden, fatty and BAD FOR ME?!?!?!?!

I couldn't find anything to satiate my fix (because in a moment of sanity months ago I had removed all of that crap). So what pulled me out of the crack house hunt? 1.) I remembered that The Biggest Loser Season 11 premier was tonight. 2.) I went outside to walk my dog. 3.) I called my sister. Otherwise known as 1.) Inspiration. 2.) Fresh air. 3.) Support.

I have been thinking about the word humble. I have been thinking about it in the "having or showing a modest or low estimate of one's own importance." and perhaps even in the "decisively defeat" way. I don't really like the word humble. For me, it conjures up images of someone meek and submissive - with a broken spirit, like Charlie Brown. I think I've been thinking about it wrong. Humble also means "not arrogant or haughty" (such a great word); "reflecting or expressing." It means everything this blog is about, it means not being to proud to ask for help.

Can someone serve me up a piece of humble pie? I've still got a long way to go.


  1. Ok Danielle, I'll come over there and eat for you- you come over here and smoke cigs for me! I can't break this addiction!!!! I guess mine keeps me skinny, right? Oh GOD... I know that with your strength and my will I can break this- Where is my WILL????? Danielle, I am listening to you and I love you and support you- keep up the great work- you can do it!!!! You are SOO on the right track!

  2. You are such an inspiration to so many. You don't even realize it. Your girls will never reach for the chocolate because they won't be use to doing that. They are learning from your example (which doesn't Make your craving go away). Keep gum in the house. That's what I do when I want sweets.

    Keep hiking the hill. It will feel so good when you get to the top. And by the way...not sure what your goal is but you looked amazing te other night when I was babysitting for you. I think you deserve a "mid crisis" shopping spree. ;)
    keep your chin up!

  3. Danielle, we all have those days! Just remember above all to love yourself. From Women, Food and God (you really need to get) "When you love something you wish it goodness; when you hate something you wish to annihilate it. Change happens not by hatred but by love..."

  4. Danielle-Sending you love and support. And by the way, you are such a talented and hilarious writer!