Tuesday, February 8, 2011

A third generation bag lady's road to healing. Destination, Disneyland. Costume, skinny jeans.

I am a third generation bag lady. That means I love bags. Handbags in
particular, but I don't stop there. Diaper bags, cosmetic cases, Ziplocs, luggage,
wallets, reusable grocery sacks... I have a slight thing for them. But it is
hereditary... hence the third generation part. My mother and her mother before
her all had a thing for bags. My grandmother is still alive - my mother, Deborah, is not.
Hence the healing part.

In high school, a friend of mine cavalierly compared my relationship to my,
then boyfriend, now husband, to a trip to Disneyland. It was... magic, romance
and fantasy. Our relationship is still solid. I love him more now than I ever
have, but we've grown-up together and the magic has been revealed. The romance
is more scheduled and the fantasy has been dampened by voting and paying bills
and raising two babies, punching the time-card, moving a away from home and
chasing the Hollywood dream. We've come to use this term... destination
Disneyland, as our personal coined phrase of what it means to be our best

Skinny jeans aren't really a look I can rock right now. I am overweight. I
have not always been and I plan not always to be. In fact, the juxtapose behind
this whole site launch is my plan to get this under control. I have lost weight
before and actually before I started typing the entry to this blog I have lost 8.8
pounds since the new year but I need this to be it. The time. I need to
examine my life in a way that makes me see why I have let myself get to a point
where I need to lose 65 pounds. And more importantly help me to fashion myself
mind, body and spirit into the thin person I will be when those pounds are gone.
I have a feeling we are going to be very good friends. The good, bad and the
necessarily ugly will come out here.

I am scared and hopeful and ready. 

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